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| Visiting home this weekend was so relaxing and soothing that I just couldn't make myself leave. I ended up staying until Monday and tomorrow I expect the drive back to be excruciating. I am not a morning person think vampire ..back away from the light and back to bed! Took my grandmother with me so grumpiness won't be permissible either I guess I will be playing nice in the front seat tomorrow and everything. What's really on my mind...is jobs. How incredibly bad I am at job hunting. How much I hope my mom isn't shooting dirty looks at me right this second cuz I'm "goofin off on the computer" instead of helping her depopulate her kitchen of dishes for the builder. Oh, (aside my parent's are remodeling the kitchen and have to empty it ). In two months my status of student shall expire. Adulthood will set in like a bad cold. humph not feeling so rosy this ten seconds about the whole bills, responsibility and marriage thing. Especially as my long time (4 yrs that looks so weird in print) boyfriend is so far away. Decisions decisions guess I should get back to work so I don't feel guilty. Sophie has cancer. The vet said it was too advanced...she's ok for now, but my parent's have decided if she shows signs of pain they are putting her down. My chest tightens up and I just can't believe how damn much I like my silly dog. Well there I said it and now it's true. | | |
| My boss has shunned me for weeks. Wouldn't you know the one weekend my family is coming to visit of all the weekends that would be the one she needs me to work. I just started my internship, summer school and family is visiting, so of course this would be when my part time *** of an employer decides "hey how else can I mess with that chit. I have deprived her of income now I can dangle income at the price of family she loves and hasn't seen...muahahaha." Being able to pay bills is lovely. Yet telling family that they shouldn't bother coming all this way to visit their long lost daughter because she hasn't taken the initiative to confront her pouting boss seems rather suicidal if you know my mother. This would be an all day job of the 2 days my fam would be here I would work the entirety of one leaving one morning before they leave to actually visit. Stupid conscience needs to quit telling me to be responsible a dog can't have two masters and win. To top it off I would have much rather not antagonized my boss just now consider the referrals I was hoping to get from her. which were probably already ruined by the whole "me referring a friend that made me look bad thing". Yeah. The first and last time I ever do that. Don't you hate that when someone who seems real reliable suddenly flakes out on you at a crucial moment (another good example of murphy's law no matter the trend of reliability it will make an exception to piss you off at a critical moment). Ok, enough venting. Time to ponder, got to pick something to tell my family and my boss...maybe I can find a middle ground that will piss everyone off. Really. think about it. unless I fully do one or the other someone will be peeved at me. Plus note-at least I don't have my lil bro's roach infestation. that actually makes me feel better. That and my birthday is next week. Minus-dad's father's day card isn't gonna make it on time. Period. I should probably consider that in the telling them not to come down thing. | | |
| Frustrated with everything (especially myself). Hate it when I know I should have done this or that and didn't. Sure enough it comes back full circle to remind me why I knew better. Feeling lonely this weekend. All the people I run around with here were busy though I wasn't invited, so I felt unwanted. I could have butted in, but that means they didn't really want you there in the first place. Set myself up to be distant from everyone here and it worked. full circle indeed. That and my grades are crappy for the first time in a very long time. I guess wondering off to Europe and missing a bunch of class really does hurt your grade (hummm...). Broadening my horizon seems to have made me discontent with what is on my plate at home. Content until I realized there was a greener field on the other side of that ocean. Just feeling discontented and restless. It could be a family thing; we are always moving. My father tries to never take the same road twice. I caught that from him I guess. The urge to jump out and see where does this go...drop everything even if you know it's important and just go taste alittle life. Years of discipline to my studies may keep me rooted to my seat, but my mind is cruising in semi darkness with the windows down going somewhere new. | | |
| Ever eaten at Shoguns? If not, it's a hibachi grill and alot of fun to watch the food prep occurring right in front of you (it's not everyday you get to watch someone safely play with knives (so go eat enjoy)). My father and I went down today while he visited; leaving me currently munching left overs and grinning like a fool. Lots of reasons to be in a good mood. One I'm ignoring my homework, two the yummy food and most importantly Jessica (citrus manga) is posting again. Actually inspiring me to get my lazy self in gear. In case you haven't noticed I'm addicted to reading. Just finished a book called the Other Boleyn Girl about Mary Boleyn (Queen Anne's sister). Who isn't fascinated by Henry VIII's amazing ability to arrange for himself new wives(note sarcasm). This story caught my attention in that it created a cool piece of work around people who we know existed and how they ended, but nothing inbetween...side characters of Henry history. I didn't even know Mary existed until this book nor her brother (consequently Anne's brother) George. Spoilers following so don't continue if you plan to read the book. The crimes they were accused of on record are really scandalous even by today's standards and the numerous theories that historians have come up with to explain if "such and such" could really happen were engrossing. The plot was great and though it is fiction its only fiction between the facts. Like Henry really did shack up with Mary and "court" Anne while still using Mary. Fact George was accused of having sex with his sister Anne.. just ew and of being part of a homosexual ring of 4ish men who were close friends of Anne's. I'm trying to find books on the other side characters in that little timeframe to see what else I've been missing out on. This is entertainment like days of our lives style, I guess I should be more reticent in admitting my interest in century old gossip, but I just can't get enough. I'm going to read Constant princess next cuz I'm impatient to know more about Katherine of Aragon. Na shledanou! Practicing my Czech...gtg. | | |
| Creating a class schedule is always agony. Should I cram them all into acouple of days so I can work? Or spread the madness out so I can't leave? Which classes, do I want the ones where I will really learn something or the ones I'm almost positive I can make an A in? "Got to have a good GPA or you won't get hired, got to have a knowledge base or you won't stay hired" says my advisor. So wtf should I be doing then? eh? Finally, it's gotten cold. I opened the door this morning...where yesterday had been pretty today was downpour with icy winds. I've got a test tomorrow, so really I'm just wasting time. Guess I'll get back to work. Poor Jason, he has it worse then me...a test and a paper due today..hope they went well he sounded tired. Wonder how Monique is, she has so much on her plate this semester. I am such an idiot...forgive me jessica I just read your email, so if we wanted to sign up for the cafe thing we might be a wee bit late...sheepish. I haven't kept up with my email because it's been such a busy semester, so I missed acouple of important things. Speaking of look at the time study group started 5 minutes ago! | | |
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